The Kid in the Catacombs
by LadyxMadonna
Summary: Booth drags Bones from her comfy office at the Jeffersonian to the dark and damp world of Paris' mysterious catacombs and things just keep getting wierder...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The characters you recognize don't belong to me….I just like to let them out to misbehave… ;o)

A/N: Watched a clip of an episode of "World's Scariest Places" on YouTube and was inspired and here's the result.

* * *

"No! The remains need to stay in situ! It's a crime scene, don't move anything, we'll be on the next flight out." Booth snapped his phone shut as he sauntered into Temperance Brennan's office. "Start packin' Bones, we've got a case." Tempe looked up from the report she was scribbling furiously on.

"When? Where?" was all she asked.

"Paris, flight leaves at 7:20 this evening so you've got about two hours to pack and find your passport."

"Booth, I don't need a passport for Texas," Tempe shifted her attention back to the papers in front of her.

"No, Bones…Paris, France," Booth corrected as Tempe's head shot up from her work.

"Why are we going to France? The FBI is _American_."

"The FBI is an elite police force Bones. International police forces sometimes request our unique expertise," Booth told her, a slightly cocky smile on his lips. Brennan rolled her eyes,

"Whatever, Booth. I'm just going to finish this case file and then I'll go pack."

* * *

"Sweetie! Booth is taking you to PARIS!?" Angela Montenegro flew into Tempe's office.

"It's for a _case_ Ang," Tempe told her.

"But it's PARIS," Angela kept placing superfluous emphasis on the word 'Paris'. "Honey, it doesn't matter why he's taking you! He's taking you to PARIS!" Tempe rolled her eyes. "Why are you still here? You should be packing…bring something sexy!"

"Okay, okay, I'm going!" Tempe scribbled her name at the end of the file and dropped it into her out box. She gathered her purse and jacket and headed for the door, unable to suppress a smirk when Angela called down the hallway after her, "Have _fun _sweetie!"

* * *

"Booth! Stop hogging the armrest!" Brennan complained, attempting to shove his arm off the shared space.

"Bones, will you relax?" Booth shifted his arm to give her some room. Tempe wiggled her arm onto the small space and turned her head to look out the window as the plane picked up speed, barreling down the runway. She held her breath as the wheels lifted from the pavement, a nervous habit she couldn't seem to shake. She exhaled as they soared gracefully into the air, banking left to head out over the Atlantic. Once the seatbelt sign was turned off Tempe reached beneath the seat in front of her and drew out her laptop. As it powered up she glanced over at Booth who was engrossed in a ridiculous comedy playing on the seatback in front of him. She lowered the tray attached to the seat in front of her and dropped her laptop onto it.

"Bones, are you actually going to do work while we're flying?" Booth asked, pulling off his headphones.

"I'm just doing some writing, I haven't had much time to devote to it recently," she told him, opening up the current chapter she was working on.

"And what is the insurmountable Kathy Reichs up to this time?"

"Three skeletons in buried in the basement of the Château Frontenac in Québec City," she told him as her fingers started to rapidly type. Booth went back to his comedy as his partners eyes became glued to the computer screen in front of her.

About two hours into the flight the battery in Brennan's laptop gave out and she was left staring at a blank screen. She put the laptop away and removed a novel from her carry-on, noting that Booth was now reading her most recently released book. After a few hours of reading Tempe's eyelids began to droop so she shoved her novel into the seat pocket and succumbed to the lure of sleep.

* * *

Booth woke when a flight attendant shook him lightly. She informed him that they'd begun their descent into Charles de Gaulle airport and that he and his partner needed to buckle their seatbelts. Booth looked over at Brennan, slumped to one side with hair across her face. She looked so peaceful he hated to wake her but considering the general region of her seatbelt, he wasn't about to buckle it himself.

"Bones," Booth shook her gently, "Hey, sleeping beauty. Wake up." Tempe groaned and slowly opened her eyes, apparently having missed the fact that Booth had called her 'sleeping beauty'.

"What?" she mumbled, still half asleep.

"We're landing, buckle your seatbelt." Tempe looked out the window, seeing the lights of Paris growing brighter with each passing moment. She buckled her belt and kicked her laptop bag completely under the seat in front of her. She hadn't meant to sleep for so long, she'd wanted to ask Booth more about the case they were working. Sensing that his partner was about to ask about the case, Booth cut her off.

"I'll tell you about the case while we wait for our luggage," Booth told her. Brennan nodded and leaned back in her seat as the landing gear clunked into place below the plane. Tempe's hands white knuckled the armrest the entire descent. "What'd the armrest ever do to you?" Booth joked trying to ease the tension. Her fingers did not ease off though she gave him a half-hearted smile. "Bones, we're almost on the ground. I think you can relax."

"Statistically you are most likely to crash while taking off or landing in an aircraft," Tempe informed him. The plane bumped as they touched down, the brakes squealing and the thrusters shifting into full reverse. Once they had slowed to a taxi and were heading towards the terminal, Tempe relaxed.

"See, Bones? No problem."

* * *

Booth could tell his partner was impatient to learn the details of the case. She was fidgeting with the strap of her laptop bag as they waited to deplane. Knowing she would never wait until they made it to the baggage collection, Booth started talking.

"The body was found two days ago. It's severely decomposed and almost completely skeletonized. All of the experts they've brought in so far have been unable to determine anything about the fate of the individual and the remains are still in place where they were found."

"And where is that?" Tempe asked.

"The catacombs…" Booth told her. A few seconds later he noticed that his partner was no longer walking beside him. He stopped and turned around to see Tempe glaring at him with her hands on her hips.

"Booth…you made me fly all the way to France because someone found a _body_ in the _catacombs?_ Do you know what happened in eighteenth century Paris?" Not giving him a chance to answer, Tempe ploughed on, "The bones of thousands of people were moved from the cemeteries of Paris and dumped into the catacombs to help combat disease. Thousands of bodies Booth! As anthropologically intriguing as the catacombs are, how do we know this isn't just one of those thousands of displaced bodies?"

"The deceased was discovered clutching a video camera. Since I'm pretty sure they didn't have those in the eighteenth century, I'd say this one is a little more recent."

"Oh…" Tempe caught up with Booth and they continued to the customs and the luggage carousel.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Nope they're not mine. I just like to play with them.

**A/N:** If you've never heard of the catacombs or seen pictures from them, I suggest Googling "Paris Catacombs" and having a look at the results you get. It's really quite fascinating and I hope to visit them one day!

* * *

Once they had finally collected all of their luggage, Brennan and Booth headed towards the door only to find a man in a suit holding a placard with their names on it. Booth flashed his badge to the man, 

"Ah, Monsieur Booth et Madamoiselle Brennan. Bienvenue à Paris! I am Lieutenant Gerard Dupuis. If you'll just follow me there is a car waiting to take to the hotel." With that their escort turned on his heel and headed for the doors. Booth and Brennan exchanged glances before following hurriedly after the rapidly moving lieutenant. When they reached the car the officer motioned for them to hand their luggage to the driver who put it in the trunk. "Henri will bring you to your hotel so you can check in. You have a meeting with the captain tomorrow morning at nine o'clock. Henri will be at the hotel to pick you up at eight."

"Thank you," Booth said but the lieutenant was already striding away. "Friendly guy."

"I though he was rather brisk," Brennan said as they slid into the back seat of their hired car.

"Sarcasm, Bones."

"Oh…Well anyways, do you have the file for the case? I'd like to read it over before we get to the scene tomorrow."

"Bones you can have it when we get to the hotel."

"But Booth I'm just sitting here doing nothing, I'd appreciate having the file to read. Besides, I'd like to go to bed when we get to the hotel."

"Well unless you're about to crawl into the trunk, you're not getting that file until we get…"

"We're here," their driver informed them, pulling to a stop in front of a palatial hotel.

"Wow…" Tempe looked up at the tall tower.

"Wow is right Bones." Booth and Brennan got out of the car, accepting their luggage from Henri before heading into the lobby.

"Bonjour," Booth attempted the local language at the desk, "J'mapelle Seeley Booth."

"Ah! Mr. Booth and Dr. Brennan! Welcome to L'Hotel Tremoille! I just need a signature here and you'll be all set." Booth was about to sign the paper when he noticed a mistake.

"Uh, there should be two rooms…"

"Ah yes, you see it was such short notice and we only have this room left. It has two beds though, will that be acceptable?" Booth looked to Temperance, who nodded her consent.

"Yeah, that's fine," Booth signed the paper and accepted the envelope containing their room key. As they waited for the elevator, Booth dug a copy of the case file out of his bag and handed it to his partner. Brennan immediately opened it to the first page and began reading. Since so little was known so far, the file was short and Tempe finished reading it before the elevator doors opened on the twenty third floor. They settled into their room for the night, both falling asleep in the respective beds almost immediately, visions of skeletonized remains and case reports infiltrating their dreams.

* * *

Brennan and Booth arrived at the police station the following morning and were immediately brought to meet with the captain. 

"Bonjour! I'm Captain Emanuel Dione. I hope your flight was good, I apologize that we could only find you one room. I hope it isn't too much of a bother."

"No, it's fine," Temperance assured him, "When can we see the remains?"

"Well you see that is the hard part. Agent Booth told us to leave the remains where they were so you could examine them. However they are located in the catacombs in an area off limits to civilians and are therefore difficult to access. We have gathered the appropriate equipment but it will be cramped quarters and very difficult to work in so if you would reconsider I can have the remains collected and brought to our morgue for you to examine."

"No. I need the context of the remains and associated artifacts. Ninety percent of the information I get about what happened is based on context."

"Alright, if you insist. If you both will follow me I'll have a squad car bring you and your equipment to the site."

* * *

Armed with flashlights, batteries, food, water, trowels, brushes, dental picks and a large supply of evidence bags, Booth and Brennan scaled the low stone wall which separated them from a rail bed. Their guide was a young French cop who spoke little English and silently led them along the tracks to their destination. When he stopped, Booth was confused, 

"Where are we? Shouldn't there be a door or something?" Tempe turned to the young man,

"Où est la porte?" (_Where's the door?) _The officer looked down and pointed to a dark and foreboding hole in the wall near the ground, their door.

"Ici," (_here) _he told them.

"You have got to be kidding me," Booth stared down at the hole.

"Il y a une autre entrée?" _(Is there another entrance?) _Tempe asked. The cop shook his head, gesturing for them to go down. Booth stared daggers at his partner, "Hey, don't look at me! You're the one who brought me to Paris for a skeleton in the catacombs!" Booth grumbled and pushed his backpack through the hole, following on his hands and knees.

Once through the 'door' they were able to stand. They turned on flashlights to find themselves in a dark tunnel, Lt. Dupuis standing a few feet away, apparently awaiting their arrival.

"Welcome to the catacombs. Few people see the places you are about to visit. Fewer still see them legally. The body was found by a group of cataphiles two days ago..."

"What's a cataphile?" Booth asked.

"An explorer who enters the catacombs illegally, through entryways not yet sealed. Usually it's college kids looking for kicks, some of these people though, they know this place better than anyone."

"How long will it take to get to the remains?" Brennan asked, adjusting her heavy backpack.

"About fifteen minutes or so, watch your step and your head, this is a dangerous place." They began their arduous journey, slogging though knee high water, picking their way gingerly around piles of broken bones and, at some points, crawling through low tunnels until they reached their destination. They came through a final, low tunnel which opened into a cavern, its walls lined with piles of bones, arranged by type. The rear wall was lined with skulls, to the left were femurs, tibia and fibulas and to the right were humerii, radii and ulnas. Behind them were piles of ribs, hands, feet and vertebrae.

"Okay…creepy," Booth said.

"Here is your crime scene," the lieutenant told them, leading them to a body in the centre of the room. The remains that lay before them were almost completely skeletonized, the clothing torn and degraded. Temperance dropped her bag and crouched over the skeleton for a closer look. She examined the skull and pelvic bones first to determine sex and ancestry.

"Female, likely of European descent," she said aloud, digging out a pad and pen to begin her field notes. She lifted clothing away to view the epiphyseal joints of the femurs and humerii and poked her flashlight into the open mouth to see tooth eruption and wear, "Probably in her early twenties."

"How does she do that?" the lieutenant asked Booth.

"She's the Bone Whisperer," Booth replied and the two men chuckled.

"I don't whisper to the bones, Booth. I use specific features to determine age, sex and ancestry based on known models of development and formation."

"It was a joke Bones," Booth told her. Temperance shook her head and went back to her work, pulling out a tape measure. After measuring a series of bones she scribbled rapidly in her notebook,

"Between five foot five and five foot eight, in good shape, she was muscular."

"How did she die?" the lieutenant asked. Brennan shone her flashlight on the skull and poked her pen into a hole through the left temporal,

"Gunshot wound to the head."

* * *

**A/N: **As a forensic anthropology student I know that there's no freakin' way in hell she'd have been able to determine all of this stuff so rapidly but hey, I'm taking a little dramatic license here (they certainly do it enough in the show!) 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I own a cat, too many pairs of shoes to count, and a very expensive forensic anthropology education…Bones is (unfortunately) not mine.

**A/N: **Probably only one or two more chapters after this…

* * *

Brennan completed her preliminary analysis of the remains and enlisted Booth to help her slide the body into a bag for transport to the morgue. Once the remains had begun their journey out of the catacombs, Tempe began collecting soil from where the body had been lying. Booth crouched by her side, holding a flashlight while she worked and handing her evidence bags when she requested them. It took four hours, twelve flashlight batteries and twenty seven bags of dirt for Temperance to reach sterile soil.

"Okay, we're done here," Tempe informed the lieutenant who had clearly lost interest in her work hours ago as he was sitting propped up against a pillar near the door.

"Okay, let's get out of here," he began to lead the way out. Before she left, Tempe couldn't resist taking some pictures, after all she would likely never see this place again.

"I'll be right behind you," she told the men.

"Yeah right Bones, you really expect me to leave you in here by yourself?" Booth sat down against the same pillar Lt. Dupuis had leaned against and waited for his partner to satisfy her curiosity. Brennan mumbled something about his ridiculously protective alpha male tendencies and began to snap photos.

"Okay, I'm ready to go," Temperance told Booth, satisfied with the images she'd captured.

"Good, this place is giving me the creeps."

With one last look at the anthropological marvel behind her, Temperance bent low to follow her partner back up to the land of the living.

* * *

Temperance was pouting. Booth was used to it now as she did it frequently when angry with him. She stared sullenly out the window of the car as they wove through the streets of Paris back to the hotel. Tempe had wanted to head to the morgue as soon as they were out of the catacombs but there morgue had an intake backup due to a bus crash and so their skeleton was pushed to the bottom of the list. She'd been promised that first thing in the morning she could view her remains and carry out all the tests she wanted but that was no solace to the knowledge hungry doctor.

"How about this Bones, we go back to the hotel, clean off the bone dust and then head out for a dinner on your unlimited Jeffersonian budget?"

"Booth are you trying to make me feel better?" Temperance turned away from the window to look at Booth.

"Yeah Bones."

"Oh. Well okay, dinner sounds good." Booth was surprised, he'd anticipated having to drag her out of the room to get her to stop sulking and eat. Their driver, Henri, dropped them off at the hotel.

"Rock, paper, scissors for the shower Bones?" Booth asked as they waited for the elevator.

"I don't know what that means."

"It's a child's game, Hodgins and Zack play it to decide who gets the bad jobs…"

"Oh that. I don't know how to play that," she told him, he'd learned long ago not to be surprised by this sort of thing. Rather than trying to explain it to her he pulled a quarter from his pocket and said,

"Heads or tails?"

"Heads," she answered as Booth flipped the quarter high into the air. He caught it just as the elevator arrived.

"Damn, you win." Booth told his partner, "Don't take all day in there."

* * *

Two hours later Booth and Brennan had managed to shower and dress for a night on the town. When Temperance had walked out of the bathroom wearing a revealing silk shirt and tight jeans Booth could not believe his eyes. His straight laced doctor had a naughty side. For her part, Brennan couldn't believe that she'd not only followed Angela's advice to bring something sexy but had actually had the guts to put it on. Tempe was not afraid to admit, to herself at least, that Booth looked incredibly sexy in his navy shirt and khakis.

They asked at the front desk for a good place for dinner, Booth allowing Brennan to do the talking. The concierge gave them a few options in walking distance and Brennan relayed them to Booth for a decision. Booth picked what turned out to be a quaint little bistro tucked away unobtrusively on a side street, which is why they walked past it three times before finding it.

Finally seated at a booth looking out onto the street, Brennan and Booth gave up their bickering about who was more directionally challenged and began to relax. When the waiter arrived to take their drink orders, Booth ordered a bottle of wine for them both and was surprised when Tempe didn't complain about his not asking what she wanted. Brennan was in fact too surprised that Booth remembered her favourite kind of wine to bother being annoyed with him.

"So Bones, what do you think? You pick the appetizer," Booth said, perusing the menu.

"It's my budget, the least you can let me do is pick that," she shot back, raising an eyebrow at him. Booth smiled at her devious look and returned to his menu before he said or did something that would make their night awkward.

The waiter returned with their wine and poured them each a generous glass before asking for their orders. Booth allowed Brennan to order first, her rapid French preventing Booth from determining what exactly she'd ordered as an appetizer. When the waiter turned to him, Booth stumbled over his order in broken French, getting his point across by pointing at the item on the menu.

"So Bones, what'd you order us?"

"It's a surprise," she told him coyly.

"Well that sounds dangerous," Booth joked and Brennan feigned hurt. Tempe changed the topic to their case, as usual, to avoid the innuendo laden conversation she sensed on the horizon.

"There are some interesting marks on the tibias of our victim…"

"Seriously, Bones? Shop talk in a French bistro in downtown Paris?"

"Fine, you pick a topic," Tempe conceded.

"Seen any good movies lately?" Booth asked with a smile. Temperance stared at him blandly. "Okay, fine, I give. What do the marks look like?"

"I don't know, the catacombs were so dark and the flashlights don't really illuminate well. I couldn't tell if they were fractures or kerf marks or something totally unrelated to C.O.D."

"Well tomorrow you can stick Jane Doe under the microscope and satisfy your curiosity. Tonight why don't you forget about the case and enjoy yourself?" Brennan scowled at his patronizing tone, knowing he was right just made it worse.

"Fine," she agreed grumpily, a Mona Lisa-like smile tugging at the corners of her lips as she spotted the waiter on his way over with their appetizer. Booth saw the devilish smile and forced himself to swallow the lump that formed in his throat.

"What's so funny Bones?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied sweetly as their waiter placed a plate between them. Booth eyed the plate suspiciously, all he could see was something vaguely grey poking out from beneath a generous amount of melted cheese.

"So…uh…what exactly is that?" Booth asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer.

"I told you, it's a surprise."

Booth poked his fork into the plate, scooping out one of the, well whatever they were, and depositing it on the small plate in front of him. Temperance boldly snagged her own serving and ate it without hesitation. Satisfied that whatever it was wasn't going to kill him, Booth speared it with his fork and put it in his mouth. The texture was slightly rubbery though not all together unpleasant and all he could really taste was garlic, butter and cheese.

"Not bad," he commented, slightly worried by the look of mischief on his partner's face, "What?"

"Any idea what you just ate?" Brennan asked him.

"No…" Booth answered, once again not completely sure he wanted to know the answer.

"A snail!" Booth's eyes widened in abject horror as Temperance laughed.

"Bones!" He exclaimed, "That's disgusting!"

"Booth, you just said it wasn't bad!" Brennan choked out between peals of laughter.

"But they're slimey and gross!"

"Booth you sound like Angela. They are not 'slimey'," Brennan did air quotes which made Booth grin, "Not anymore anyways."

"It's still weird. Nice use of air quotes by the way," he complemented her.

"Thanks!" Brennan picked up another snail, still smiling. It struck Booth that he'd never seen her this relaxed before. She was totally letting go, he knew Angela would be proud, hell _he _was proud. Tempe caught him staring at her,

"What?" She asked with a mouthful of escargot.

"Nothing Bones," Booth told her, absently poking another snail.

"Have another one," she pushed the plate towards him.

"Bones…"

"Come on! You said it wasn't bad!" Booth warily picked up the snail he'd been molesting with his fork and brought it to his mouth. Closing his eyes and just barely resisting plugging his nose like a five year old he put the fork in his mouth. He withdrew the fork, wrinkling his nose and refusing to chew. "Booth, don't be a child, you already know what it tastes like." Booth opened his eyes and glared at her, chewing slowly. When he swallowed, she smiled, "See? That wasn't so bad was it?"

"I guess not," Booth admitted begrudgingly. Once you got past the alien texture and the fact that you were eating a slimey mollusc, it actually tasted pretty good. There were two snails left on the plate waiting to be eaten. Brennan pulled the plate to herself and stabbed one with her fork and then nudged the plate to Booth, indicating that he should eat the last one. This time Booth ate it without hesitation or fanfare, "Well, when in Rome…"

"Booth we're in Paris," Brennan corrected.

"It's a saying Bones," Booth grinned at her. As long as they'd been partners, he was still amused by her complete and utter lack of pop culture knowledge. If you couldn't read it in a textbook, chances are Bones didn't get it.

* * *

**A/N 2: **I don't know how they serve escargot nor do I know the texture or taste (like Booth I can't bring myself to eat them…slimey) so I made it up…And I know this seems like an odd place to stop but if I were to continue on the chapter would be enormous and so yeah I stopped. R&R people, I love reviews (flames, however, will be used to roast marshmallows…) 


End file.
